A lesson in how NOT to decorate Easter Eggs

Oh how I love every Holiday.  I get it from my mom.  Growing up she not only decorated the house for each one, she hosted parties for me and my girl friends.  Thus began my obsession.  My poor husband couldn't be more excited that we are having a baby, so he won't have to hunt for his Easter basket anymore!  And even better for him, this year I wanted to forgo making him dye the traditional Easter eggs with me, for a more crafty option that I planned to tackle on my own.  To the internet I went in search of new ideas on an old tradition.  It wasn't long before my girl, Martha Stewart, pointed me in the "right" direction.  Off to good start, right?  Well that's about where the "good" ended... The following is a lesson in how NOT to decorate Easter Eggs.

Miss Martha had taken blown eggs, cut out shapes from beautiful napkins and used mod podge to glue them to the eggs... Simple, easy, and beautiful.  Thus, I headed to town for decorative napkins and mod podge.  A few hours and several stores later, not only had I not found either of the two, I still had managed to spend a bunch of money on stuff I didn't need, and headed home with Elmer's glue and two bags of Easter candy.  Disappointed, but not defeated, I was determined to find a way to make this work, my first error of many...

First, I had my dear sweet hubby, whom I had promised wouldn't have to do anything this year, help me blow out a few eggs.

Next I got my not-exactly-Martha-approved supplies... 

I cut my thick, not so bendy scrapbook paper....

Now for some reason I truly thought my paper would magically conform to the shape on my egg... how wrong I was..

Apparently it turned out so bad I didnt even take a picture of the "finished" product.  More discouraged but not ready to throw up the white surrender flags, I found the stencil I used to paint baby Bellamie's nursery.

Now, if scrapbook paper has a hard time taking to the shape on egg, hard plastic downright refuses. Once again, this turned into such a mess, I decided there was no picture necessary.  However I too am stubborn like the plastic and remembered I had some pretty gift wrap.  Now, let me tell you, I could give those old ladies that sit outside the department stores offering gift wrapping, a run for their money.  My husband's goal each is year is to find the most awkward, unwrappable item in the store, and I gladly take on the challenge.  But oh internet, even my super awesome, nearly professional gift wrapping skills were no match for that damn egg!  

This picture may not look so bad, but thats only because my fingers were glued to it and once I removed them, half the paper came with it!!  That was it, I threw in the towel, and cursed like a sailor, cleaning up the mess, (something I am actually good at, mess making!)  Until my husband reminded me that in this weeks baby update, she can now hear when we speak and I should probably shouldn't talk like a truck driver.  As my lip started to quiver, because what kind of mother curses over Easter eggs, Rob reminded me that is just the hormones, and I should probably take a break.  A cup of hot cocoa and a bag of sweettarts later, I had another ah-ha moment.  My grandmother had sent me some fancy napkins years ago, that I had been waiting for the perfect occasion to come along to use.

Too tired to take pictures at this point... I cut out some shapes, used my trusty elmers glue and ta-da!!

Oh Martha, if I had only listened to you from the beginning, this could have been a lesson in how to decorate beautiful Easter Eggs.  Instead it was a total fisaco and my only advice now is to buy the damn, I mean dang, $.99 egg dying kit found at ANY grocery store..

HAPPY EASTER!